Thanks to Sir Richard Branson and the lovely Virgin Blue crew, our flight back to Sydney was delayed forcing us to stay a night in downtown Brisbane, for FREE. Now most people would have taken the flight back home at 6am because they are tired and just want to rest in their own casa, but Herzi and I like the true adventurers we are took a flight back at 5pm allowing us to spend the entire day seeing the beautiful city of Brisbane. First off, I'd like to thank Brisbane for giving us i.n.c.r.e.d.i.b.l.e. eye candy while we were there. While we were having our morning beers at Pig N Whistle neither of us could stop saying, "Holy shit dude look at that chick! Shes gorgeous!" I mean there are plenty of beautiful women in Sydney but for real Brisbane seriously has it crackin right now... So we were in Brisbane for a day and we asked some people what we should do and most of them said hit up the lagoon right off the bank of the river. Oh that sounded like a grand ole time! Except for the fact that there was a downpour of about 100cm of rain during the exact time we were crossing the Brisbane Bridge to get over there. Hilarity did not ensue...
So instead of going to the lagoon we decided to go to the Modern Art Museum. This was definitely a cool alternative to the lagoon because we got to see the cultural side of the city/country that is Brisbane/Australia. So my advice to you current travelers is try and do as much as you can to get your flights delayed so you can get free hotels. My suggestion, the good ole bomb threat ought to do the trick.
P.S. I gotta give a shout out to my San Francisco Giants, for those who are tryin to hate. Yes, I am a die hard A's fan but that doesnt mean i dont love the bay. Give it up for the boys in the halloween orange and black so we can bring back the World Series Champs to the Bay. Barry, Max, and Jared this ones for you.
Now I know what you're thinking, but That Oakland Kid you couldn't have just stayed in Airlie Beach the entire time you were on spring break, right?? And by Josh you're right, we also went over to Cedar Creek Waterfall about 50 km down the road from our little spot. This waterfall was pretty sweet, i mean every year there are about 20 deaths from jumping off it and landing on rocks so i didnt really get that crazy but nonetheless i still had a settled ass time. Now during the time we were there I was a little hung choy, and so was Palu Girl aka she who shall not be named, but I still enjoyed the hell out of the place. We adventured through the rainforest and found our spot to chill out and relax. Honestly, relaxing and hanging by a waterfall is a better hang over cure than Einstein Bagels and Jamba Juice so I was feeling like a million bucks for the next day...
This morning we woke up at 7:30am to catch our bus to get on the Reef Jet boat that took us snorkeling, scuba diving, beach attending, and seeing the dopest views this side of the world. While we were on the boat we got to see some amazing scenery. All in all there are 74 islands in the Whitsundays and we pretty much got to see all of them. However, the creme de le creme of the spot had to be Whitehaven Beach. Now let me tell you a little something about Whitehaven. This beach has the purest sand in the world, it is approximately 98% silica making it so fine even your celibate priest will want to bang it. The sand is so perfect it was used to make the mirrors in the Hubble Telescope. Honestly, I cant say that ive been to a cooler beach in my life, and suffice it to say I probably will never see a better one either. So heres to you Whitehaven. Now the rest of my beach days will be just a shade shy of perfect because of you...
So I'm still on spring break right now, I have another week left of shenanigans to engage in. But i dont have any other trips planned, 1) because i dont have any more money (fuck...) and 2) My trip to Airlie Beach/Whitsunday was so incredible I dont even really need another trip. Sure it would be dope to check out so more cities on the East Coast of Oz but the borderline financial crisis that im in is kinda hindering my adventures. Having said that, I'm not trippin because while I was up North, I got to go to the beach with the purest sand in the world, Scuba Dive in the Great Barrier Reef again, get to know some real town folk, and i got to do it with some of the biggest cruisers I know. When we flew into Mackay Airport it was cloudy and raining, we prayed that it would not be like this during our spring break. And sure enough our prayers were answered, we got beautiful sunshine most of the time there with an occasional drizzle. Spring/Summer time up north is the rainy season, so if anyone is thinking about travelling there during that time just know youre gonna get a down pour and it will be more of a buzz kill than the girl who keeps drunkenly crying and breaking her heels... When we got to our rooms we were astonished to see that we had a villa 200m away from the beach. We had 2 queen beds, 2 twins, a fold out couch and a big ass TV. The Beach Court Holliday Villas hooked it up fat for us, they put up with 3am techie beats and a couple of "unregistered guests".
The town of Airlie Beach is pretty solid, its not that big but there is still a lot of nightlife. I mean we were only there for 5 days and we got to know plenty of people in town, every day we would see people that we met the night before, some people were super hung choy and some were chipper, the coolest part of the town has to either be the rockin club Mama Africa's or the dank lagoon with the infinity sand. We got to see the farmers market, where they offer camel rides along the beach and Herzi, Sonya, and I got to talk to this borderline skate legend who told us when he used to skate around with the Dogtown boys, Caballero, and Lasek. All in all Airlie Beach was a perfect spot for a group of 6 girls and 2 guys to rage the night away and enjoy the beautiful sights during the day.
Once again in this beautiful place I call home, I had a wild weekend that included going to the Australia vs. New Zealand Tri-Nations Cup Title game, journeying to THE FUCKING BIGGEST IMAX IN THE WORLD (Yes caps are necessary), and visiting old friends in downtown Sydney. While us cruisers were at the game we found out why rugby is so damn popular here down under, there are 15 gigantic men running into each other at full speed sans pads trying to dive into the endzone with the little footy (football). All the while, there are 70,000 drunk fans screaming their heads off trying to influence the game as much as humanly possible. Even though we were in the nosebleeds, I still felt like my screaming paid off because the All Blacks won 23-22, in the best rugby match ive ever seen (Sorry Wallabees). What was also really cool about the game was it was at ANZ Stadium aka home of the Sydney Olympics in 2000. Being at an Olympic sized stadium is a trip and a half, there is such history there, such glory. When you think about all the great athletes who competed in the olympics it really grounded me; it made me want to experience the wide world of sport even more (Now if we can only get a W from the Raiders ill be able to rest easy...) Next up on this journey of a lifetime, me and some of the boys went and saw Hubble 3D at the IMAX theatre in Darling Harbor. All I can really say about this is WOW, it felt like we were flying through space and for those of you who can see it somehow, i HIGHLY suggest it. Bonus: Leonardo DiCaprio narrates the entire film. Fuck yeah. Finally in this tour de force of a weekend, me and my roommate Herzi went downtown to the city friday afternoon and strolled through town. We got some beers at a nice pub during happy hour on friday, went to the top of the Sky Tower in the heart of the city, and finished the day off with a tour of St. Marys Cathedral in St. James. Hands down most beautiful cathedral ive ever been in my life. The architecture and stain glass windows alone were gorgeous enough to make you want to stay all day. The weekend is over and we are back to the grind here at Macquarie University, however spring break starts on Friday with Conception Day. A gigantic concert/party/festival for all the students here in honor of the creation of this great university. After that i'm off to Whitsunday for some sailing and more adventure.
P.s. This video is so sick it made me want to tear out my eyes. Wait... What?
So this past few weeks have been crazy, a lot of school work was accomplished... Whoaaa. I know i know but when the work is finished the party can begin. A few assignments, a test, and an essay later I had an intense weekend to say this least. Me and a few friends went to Chinese Laundry in Darling Harbor. There were 3 dance floors which made it a lot cooler than the name actually sounds, Chinese Laundry really? Having said that, this is a really cool underground house club. It is one of the top rated clubs in Sydney for a good reason. Cheap drinks, great atmosphere, sick DJs, and a lot of beautiful people will definitely get you on a few peoples "IT list for 20XX" (Insert year Here) anytime you want. Update aside, this post is dedicated to a conversation I had with a friend of mine Brian Poage. A few hours ago, we were talking and he quoted me the line "You old sailor you." Clearly from Wedding Crashers, for those who don't know, and it got me thinking. What are the most quoted movies OF ALL TIME? Now when I'm talking movie quotes I mean comedy. The art of movie quoting, which so many young american folks indulge in on a daily basis, revolves around comedy quotes. Sure, "I'll make him an offer he cant refuse" is an extremely memorable quote but it doesnt really get quoted on a daily basis. Comedy quotes bring out the best in cinema for folks like me, 20-male-college-semi immature-ready to party, and without the bevy of quotes in our daily life a few of the deep belly laughs that we need to get us through tough times might not be there. So without further adieu...
Number Five- "I'm not an ambi-turner." Zoolander
Zoolander, one of the first movies written and directed by Ben Stiller, as we all know the movie thrusts into the world of Male Modeling. And this isnt the modeling you see in magazines or on the E channel, there are walk offs and freak gasoline fight accidents. The most quotable line in the movie has got to be the "Excuse me brah." "Oh youre excused, but Im not your brah." exchange between Hansel and Derek before the infamous walk off scene. (Bonus trivia: Also one of the most hilarious cameos by David Bowie as the walk-off judge. "Disqualified!!") But ill leave you with a subtle little quote from the mind and heart of Hansel. "I felt like, "This guy's really hurting me." And it hurt."
Number Four- "Hey, that kangaroo just took my ball!" Caddyshack
Now I come from a family of golfers, ever since I was a little grom my whole family has been down to play a little Chabot if you know what I mean. So naturally this movie has been watched countless times in my house, if im not mistaken there is a DVD we have is in my dads car right now so we can watch it literally any time we want. Quotes from this movie are a dime a dozen, clearly this is classic cinema because every time I watch Caddyshack I laugh just as hard as I did the first time I saw it. Chevy Chase as Ty Webb-hilarious... Hes clever as a whip and not shy to dish out life lessons for all who will listen. "Don't be obsessed with your desires Danny. The Zen philosopher Basha once wrote, 'A flute with no holes, is not a flute. A donut with no hole, is a Danish.' He was a funny guy." Even when he is putting up a storm and just doing Mananananaana. Hmhmamamamama. It kills me. "That was Incredible!" "Thank you very little." But the best quote is indeed last, comes from one of greatest minds in comedy history. Mr. Rodney Dangerfield "You're a lot of woman, you know that? Yeah, wanna make 14 dollars the hard way?"
Number Three- "Brian, I ate your Chocolate Covered Squirrel." Anchorman
"Why dont you go back to your home? On whore island??" "The bad man punted baxter!!" "And I'm Tits... I'm Ron Burgundy." The list goes on and on. I pretty sure even my teachers in high school knew these quotes, they had to. Listening to us quoting this movie every day for about two years must have ingrained it into their brain just like how we learned physics, or did I pass because Mr. Rooney thought I was awesome. The world will truely never know, nonetheless this movie had an incredible influence on my slanguage to the extent that my friends and I would talk like Ron just because we couldnt help it. We didnt need a quote to break out the impersonation, we had it deep in our souls... This specific quote is a shout out to my brotherrr Alex aka Romocop, this quote made him laugh for a good 10 min when we were cruising one time... "Not so fast, you ingrates. Public News Team is taking a break from its pledge drive to kick some ass. No commercials, no mercy!!
Number Two- "You sand-bagging son of a bitch!" Wedding Crashers
We know the rules. We've wanted to be those men. Wedding Crashers is as close to a modern day classic as it gets. Sheer genius concept, two guys crash wedding receptions and get wild. So simple yet so effective. Honestly who amongst yourselves hasnt quoted this movie. Its so deep ingrained into our pop culture quotes like "Stage Five Clinger" or "Motorboat" have all made it into our vernacular. What probably gives it its biggest credibilty is we feel for these characters, we act like we know them personally. It puts the movie in a class above the rest, I honestly can't say enough about this movie so I will just give you my favorite quote from the movie. "[sigh] Janice, I apologize to you if I don't seem real eager to jump into a forced awkward intimate situation that people like to call dating. I don't like the feeling. You're sitting there, you're wondering do I have food on my face, am I eating, am I talking too much, are they talking enough, am I interested I'm not really interested, should I play like I'm interested but I'm not that interested but I think she might be interested but do I want to be interested but now she's not interested? So all of the sudden I'm getting, I'm starting to get interested... And when am I supposed to kiss her? Do I have to wait for the door cause then it's awkward, it's like well goodnight. Do you do like that ass-out hug? Where you like, you hug each other like this and your ass sticks out cause you're trying not to get too close or do you just go right in and kiss them on the lips or don't kiss them at all? It's very difficult trying to read the situation. And all the while you're just really wondering are we gonna get hopped up enough to make some bad decisions? Perhaps play a little game called "just the tip". Just for a second, just to see how it feels. Or, ouch, ouch you're on my hair."
Honorable Mentions: Superbad, Step-Brothers, Austin Powers (1, 2, & 3), Tommy Boy, Waynes World, Ghostbusters, Supertroopers, Beerfest, and Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Number One- "Big gulps ey? Welp. See ya later!" Dumb and Dumber
This piece of cinema folklore, written and directed by the Farrelly Brothers, has been my favorite movie my entire life. Right when I began conciousness, circa 1994, this movie came out and since then it has been the most uttered movie that has ever come out of my mouth. "Chicks love it. Its a shaggin wagon." "There are absolutely no jobs in this town. Zip. Nada. Yeah... Unless you want to work 40 hours a week." "Want to hear the most annoying sound in the world??" Literally every day that passes there is a Dumb and Dumber quote mixed in somewhere. As you can tell this is my favorite movie, now I will tell you why. Of all great comedies that are released, this is one of the FEW movies that never uses the word Fuck. There is a lot of credit to be given if a movie can be so funny, so laugh out loud hilarious, and they dont even use the F-word. Congratulations Harry and Lloyd. You are the two most quoted men in the world. To me at least.
